Being a friend…

So, this has had me thinking for the last while. What is a friend. About two years ago, having lost most of mine to this diagnosis I thought I knew what a friend was, turned out I was wrong. Completely wrong, and the pain of what she did to me landed me in a hospital bed for a week.

I remember not wanting to be alive back then. Not understanding how someone I thrusted whole heartily could stab me in the back and not give a hoot.

 

This week a friend reminded me of what friendship is. She’s seen me through many meltdowns by just looking me in the eyes and saying come in. Letting me bend her ear or just cry when I felt like death warmed up, she’s been there true it all and without question.

 

If if you have a friend like that – remind them that you love them. They should be treated like gold.

Lets call a spade a spade…

Have you ever just reached a point where you have just had enough… literally, one more stupid comment and you will let fly, one more idiotic post on social media promoting idiot based idiology and the baseball bat that will be swinging, will be swung by you…

Well, today – and not for the first time, I have reached that point.  I sit here, half eleven at night, small tablet and an even smaller qwerty keyboard, and Idris Elba on Netflix, zapped beyond words, a mile behind on work, and I am sitting here thinking what in the name of all thnigs holy did anyone do to deserve being given this crapped up disease…

If someone told me ten years ago, tha I would spend six yeasr in constant pain, I would have probably told you where to go… in the plan I had for lif, this was not part of that plan.

So, lets call a spade a spade… they say life is a journey, it comes with bumps and dips, highs and lows, ups and downs, but at this point. six and a half years after I was diagnoised, it is like someone put a pause on what I had planned, and instead of being able to press play and move forward, the handbrake is stuck, and you are going no where… it is on par with what I imagine hell to be like… endless, painfull, and one hundredpercent brain zapping…