it’s been a while…

well, its been months rather than weeks since I blogged last.

Life went from chaotic, to hard all in one fowl swoop.

From the day of the car crash, to today.  I’ve had about 20 appointments in Cork between the dentist, infusions, physio, and consultants, had more needles prodded and poked at me than McGyver had gadgets – and all in the name of ‘health’!

When people say ‘oh you look great’, you feel like saying ‘step into my shoes for a day and see how you cope’ because odds are, you would be out of there after a few minutes.  I know if I could roll back six years, I would have said ‘fuck it, not happening’, but it becomes your version of normal, so you find ways to get on with it. 

In my opinion its about more than just pain.

For me, it’s about more than just pain.  Let’s take today, for example.

Woke at ten, when I say woke, I mean my brain woke up at ten am, my legs and arms decided eleven was time enough to play ball and come out of the bed with me, so we did.  Took another hour to wake my body itself up and before I knew it, here we are at five pm.

Today’s achievements include getting up, eating a breadroll, and answering two emails.  In a way, I wish others knew what this was, how it feels, how knowing when a flare comes what it’s gonna do, how any trauma that the body feels is magnified for those with RA, or any autoimmune condition.

It’s not just physical, it’s also mental, its torture without the implements.

Next week thankfully is infusion week, it’s also dentist week and back on the 18th again.  It’s just as well I count Cork as my second home.